History, pt. 1

Looking back, it doesn't feel to me as if my life was so troubled. Everyone likes to recall back to one event that must have warped the way I look at life, and I tend to think of my outcome as originating from a different source... eh, I'll stop being so general and let's start off.

My parents were married in Florida. My dad got a new job as a computer engineer which required him to move to California. Somewhat reluctantly, my mom and dad started anew in Silicon Valley.

I was born in Fremont, 1985. Coincidentally, my mom's friend was pregnant at the same time, and my friend, who goes as Mikosi on the net, was born the next day.

My early childhood was very, very good. I was a gifted child - I learned to read and write, as well as play piano, at the age of 3. I have vivid memories of trips to visit relatives, piano lessons, piano improv, finger-painting, typing on my dad's old green-screen computer and my Atari 800, birthday parties, Jewish high holidays, my very own play-structure, block parties, knee scrapes due to reckless bicycling, turning off the night-light for the first time, the arrival of my sister, 1990, complaining about my friends having Nintendos and getting a Sega Genesis, You Can't Do That On Television, singing, laughing.

After a year or two in pre-school at Temple Beth Torah, I moved onto Weibel Elementary, where I walked to school every day, played on Apple IIs, roleplayed as Sonic the Hedgehog with one of my friends playing Tails, went on field trips, cowered before Principal Pfaffenberger and Vice Principal Rugg, and learned the important stuff.

By the end of 1st grade, I was at the head of the class, and my teacher suggested that I take the standardized CTBS test with the 2nd graders. I got 98th percentile. I remember being able to make my own decision whether to skip a grade or not. I can't remember what I chose myself, but I was to skip into 3rd grade.

At the same time, at home, tension was strengthening due to my dad's "passive-aggressive" attitude and my mom's, well, "aggressive" attitude. I have a vivid memory of my sister and me crying in her room as my mom shouts at my dad from upstairs. Doors were slammed. My dad soon moved into the computer room to sleep.

Then my dad moved into an apartment. He spent a few years there, solitary and depressed. My mom moved to Marin County. I stayed with her, only to see my dad on the weekends after an hour-long car ride, and I started going to school at Vallecito elementary in San Rafael.

So in one summer, I skipped a grade, moved, went into a new school, and went through my parents' divorce. People tell me that I'm such a poor dear for having to go through such an ordeal, but I disagree. I think I went through it quite well. More of it was the outcome - what came from the new arrangement - that "affected" me so much.

And I'll get to that later!

Posted by JeffreyAtW at October 20, 2003 01:12 PM | TrackBack

Comments

conrad:

see i could never say so much about myself online because (a) i dont remember anything- some shrink told me its cause i dont want to, but i just think its cause i have a bug eating away at my braaaains and (b) its allllll shame, i had plenty bad happen to me, but i never feel sorry for myself and i still cant justify why i am who i am now, so it's pointless to even get started on my past. im impressed that you can put all that on the internet, especialy all that stuff that makes you look like such a loser...apple II?! what the HELL were you thinking?!

ya...jk

(20/10/03 06:34 PM)

Bryan:

Oh you poor dear for having to go through so much.

(20/10/03 07:26 PM)

Bryan:

Uhm, sorry about that, just quoting your blog there. That's my "I really suck at coming up with comforting, or even decent responses to things like this so I post something stupid to escape from having to."

(21/10/03 09:19 PM)

Hops:

Wow, what a horrible blog. You say you dont care about what others think of you yet you wrote nine paragraphs for the soul purpose of getting people to think you're smart and had it rough, the latter of which you realy didnt at all. Skipping a grade doesnt mean anything, your parents encouraged you to learn to read and write and play piano at a young age, and you cant tell anyone you were just a mysterious youngin who picked up a book and understood what all the letters meant without an adult teaching you.

Is your life really like you make it out to be? Mapped out, routine, you listen to a bit of paranoid information about things and make all your decisions based off that. You're in college and your sitting in your dorm doing NOTHING. You'll never have the opportunities to experience the things you can in college. Do you have no ability to empathize? You don't understand why people are partying. You're going to be on your death bed and never have experienced any of life's extreme highs becuase you were to afraid you might have to experience the extreme lows. Wow, you're just learning about girls and emotional attachment now? You can know a lot about what they teach in textbooks and know next to nothing about the actual world you live in. Not politics, not the constituents of matter, the world as you actually see it through your own eyes. In studies on animals they found those willing to try things, the exhibitionist types FAR surpassed thier timid counterparts in intelligence as they developed, so you can look down on all your dormates if you like but you should know that they probobly have experienced way more than you have in many ways and could probobly teach you a lot about life and people if you took the time to listen.

Thats just my two cents.

-Doyle

(23/10/03 03:05 PM)

JeffreyAtW:

Thanks for the two cents, but you're wrong.

(25/10/03 01:37 AM)

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